Happy Thanksgiving! It’s Dr. Ericka here, your Double Board-Certified Psychiatrist and podcast host of Better with Dr. Ericka. I’m passionate about helping you be better, do better, and live better. According to the History Channel website, “In 1621, the Plymouth colonists and the Wampanoag shared an autumn harvest feast that is acknowledged today as one of the first Thanksgiving celebrations in the colonies.” Due to the insane amount of racial injustice, genocide, and oppression against the Native American population by colonizers, I choose not to celebrate Thanksgiving as a feast with pilgrims and Native Americans.
I choose to celebrate Thanksgiving as a day of gratitude and community. The thought of taking a day to pause and give thanks warms my heart. I am blessed to be have a loving family that I continue to enjoy. I also am grateful to still have 2 loving parents that fiercely love me and have no problem telling the world how great their “doctor daughter” is. LOL.
I want to take a moment to address the elephant in this virtual room…that Thanksgiving can be stressful and emotionally exhausting. These holidays aren’t warm and fuzzy for everyone. For some it’s the stress of having a lot of places to go. For some it’s the travel. For some it’s the preparation including getting the house ready, entertaining, and/or cooking. For some it’s the thought of having to get together with two different families or to choose which parent to be around. For others, it’s the grief and loss that is triggered by Thanksgiving and holidays that are usually spent with family.
- Your feelings are your feelings
You have the right to your feelings. No one can tell you what to feel. Sadness, excitement, joy, dread, irritability, angst, anxiety, happiness…all are fair game. Don’t forget that you may feel multiple emotions, and that’s ok, too.
- Take space if you need it
These days can be overwhelming from trying to do all the things, emotions, grief, or entertaining. When you feel yourself being overwhelmed or feeling more emotionally intense in a way that does not feel good, pause and take space. This can be just stepping away into your living room or bedroom, going for a walk, stepping out to your car, or whatever feels good to you. It’s ok to take a little space to reset.
- Make realistic plans
There are only so many hours in the day, and you may be challenged with limited mental and emotional capacity after all of the stresses and events of the past 2 years. Honestly, you may have less capacity related to something totally different. Be realistic around what you can do, how many places you can be, how much you can cook, or who you can be around. By having realistic expectations for yourself, you set yourself up for success not frustration and overwhelm. This also releases pressure on yourself because nothing feels as crappy as disappointing yourself.
- Take some time for gratitude
I’m not just recommending gratitude because it is “Thanks”-giving. Gratitude is a powerful tool for positive energy. Plus, it is really helpful to put things into perspective. Try thinking of 5 things that you are grateful for. If you are going through a rough time, here are some simple ones you can use…gratitude for waking up, having shelter, having food, having friends, having family, being able to pay bills. I started my Thanksgiving with gratitude and prayer.
- Everything does not have to be perfect
Yes, I said it. Everything does not have to be perfect. You don’t have to make the perfect meal with every single food item known to man. Your house doesn’t have to be perfect. You and your family don’t have to have on the perfect outfits. Give yourself a break. Releasing yourself from the expectation of perfection will substantially decrease your stress.
Bonus. Meditate or Breathe
Meditation or breathing can harness calming energy. In the midst of the holiday, it’s useful to settle your mind, heart, and spirit. This can also help you emotionally reset if you start feeling anxious, sad, or irritable.
There you have it. Now, you have more tools to take the stress out of Thanksgiving. If you’d like to see a video, you can also watch my video, 5 Strategies to Take the Stress Out of Thanksgiving here. My last message to you is to identify what makes you happy and do more of that. Life is too short for it not to be filled with moments of joy. I encourage you to be intentional around decreasing holiday stress on your journey to put YOU back in YOUR life.
For more helpful tips on how you can be better, do better, and live better, listen to my podcast, Better with Dr. Ericka, at www.BetterThePodcast.com. Until next time, this is Dr. Ericka and have a better day!
